Thursday, July 28, 2011

Daily humor - Witticisms

A few thoughts from a family email:


One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory. Rita Mae Brown
Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples. George Burns
The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits. Albert Einstein
I may be inconsistent, but not all the time.
No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes
The secret to finding something is knowing where it is
Where do forest rangers go to 'get away from it all'?
Don't judge a book by its movie.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics
Why is Greenland icy, and Iceland green?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
All general statements are false
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
What if this weren't a hypothetical question?
Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

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