I (Carrie) realize that it is already July, but I'm still reflecting on a major milestone that took place for me in June. It was the best kind of anniversary. (No, not my wedding anniversary, but yes, I do love my husband dearly.) June marks 15 years since I began walking with Jesus. It was a Monday evening at Summer Games camp when I, for the first time, understood that I was hopelessly lost in the blackness of my own heart (and the confusion of a very dark world) and that there was a Savior who could pull me out. It was then that I commenced a new life, under the tender authority of the great God of the universe. The reason this struck me as such a huge milestone is because I have now lived more than half my life following (sometimes unsuccessfully, usually poorly, but attempting to follow nonetheless) Jesus. Whereas I was once dead - floundering emotionally, unable to be the "good person" I desperately wanted to be, with gaping heart wounds, a dead woman walking - I am now alive in Christ.
That God has had the rights, so to speak, to my life for more than half of it symbolizes to me the ever increasing nature of my surrender of my own agenda, my own flawed ways of thinking, my own failing efforts to "be good". This is the movement of my life away from self-trust toward trust in the only One who is trustworthy. It tells the story that I have not arrived at spiritual (or any other kind of) maturity, but that I am on the journey with the One who is Himself both the guide and the destination. This good news is summed up in a verse I've been praying often lately: "And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." (Philippians 1:6) I'm thanking God this month for the good work He did 15 years ago in my life, the good work He has done each day since then, and the promise that He will one day bring it to completion.