Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Rabbit Theologizing

Two rabbits were munching on Farmer Bill's carrots.

Tim, the darker of the two rabbits and the one prone to philosophical ramblings, paused and looking quite disconcerted made this quandary, "Phil, do you think we are stealing?"

Phil, the lighter of the two rabbits and less prone to philosophical discourse said, "No."

"But we did not buy the seeds for these carrots, plow the garden, plant the seeds, or water them."

"Agreed, but we are here to eat them," answered Phil, while an orange morsel fell from his mouth to the ground.

"Doesn't that prove my point--we are stealing!"

At this juncture, Tim came to understand that a quiet rabbit is not necessarily an unintelligent rabbit for Phil slightly turning his head to the left explained, "My dear Tim, we are fulfilling our evolutionary role. Farmer Bill has both the dexterity and intelligence to perform the said functions of buying, plowing, planting and the like. Our task as less-developed mammals (ignoring the fact that my vocabulary is quite robust and our story-creator has the audacity to put speech upon the lips of dumb animals) is to survive. The whims and worries of conscience should be no impediment for the procuring of food."

"Ah Phil," questioned Tim, "If that line of reasoning is correct, we are also at the mercy of that fox thirty feet of away."

"True," said Phil.

"And Phil, since I happen to move faster than you do in open terrain, I have no moral responsibility to assist in your escape. Evolutionary process has given me permission to leave you for that fox's supper."

"Exactly," said Phil.

"Ah, Phil..."

"Yes, Tim."

"Despite your sound reasoning and surprising ability to engage in philosophical discussion, I have decided that morality does exist. We are stealing, and I don't want you to die."

At this Tim ran straight toward the fox and laid down his life for his friend.

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