Tuesday, April 29, 2014

New Agers in an Argument

"Good morning dear, how was your time in contemplation this morning?" asked Sharon with all smiles as she was whipping up some pancakes for her husband and the kids.

Tom replied, "Absolutely wonderful, as I quieted my spirit, I sensed my Soul directing me to a day of golf to spend more time in nature."

"Ah, that's just beautiful Tom, but you must remember that today is the day you're taking the kids because I have a massage and then spiritual breathing with Julia at the Bonsai Yoga House."

"Hmm...yes, I do recall that earlier plan, but my Divine Self has spoken greater priorities over the day's agenda," explained Tom.

Sharon responded in a tone of ethereal happiness, "I'm so happy you are being directed by the Self; there is no greater source of joy than following our deepest desires. And yet my Supreme Self has also been guiding me all week. I'm certain that a day away is what my Self needs."

"Sharon, Sharon, I find it unlikely that your Self would be in contradiction with my Self. You must have been led astray."

"Yes, Tom, it does appear unlikely that our personal divinities would be in contradiction, that is for sure. Maybe you could take another 30 minutes for meditation outside in nature and then commit to release me for the day."

"Sharon, dear, dear Sharon. Once mySelf has spoken, I feel it would be a breach in the universal principles of the life-force to ignore or not follow these leadings."

"Your leadings certainly seem to always involve more time on the golf course, time away from the family, and even once, your Self was confident that an open marriage would bring greater joy to your Self.  Tom, it seems your Self meets the needs of you more often than it does of mySelf."

"Sharon," Tom replied in mild condescension,"In our spiritual evolution we must come to believe our desires are more and more evolved. To some these desires might look base and selfish, but I am certain that they are simply the proper expression of my divine evolution. If I were not to act on these impulses, I'd be accepting spiritual regression. Someday you may understand."

"Yes, someday, I might. But today, you are going to take the kids whether your Self or Soul likes it or not."

"Oh, Sharon, I sense in my Spirit that you are being driven to a state of anger and distress. Turn back to the light, my dear wife, and see the truth."

"Oh, it's anger all right, Tom, but it's because you are not treating me as your dear wife, but as your personal slave."

"Sharon, you must understand that words like 'wife' and 'slave' are merely social constructs. We must not let society dictate our lives. Instead, we must yield ourselves to the movement of the Self toward full enlightenment."

"If you don't quit talking to me like some unenlightened yogi, I'm going to enlighten you with a smack to the head. Tom, this kind of BS needs to stop."

"Well, Sharon, maybe that is true. Maybe two divines just can't live under the same roof. Especially, when we are on different paths toward our evolutionary enlightenment."

"Oh, good morning kids..." conversation ended.


2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hmm, I like that the guy is basically using enlightenment to justify any action HE wants to take! This is a good way to get your tail feathers enlightened, thats for sure! I do believe the bible wants us to act in a way that is benificial to ALL involved in the family! Lol, this guy thinks everything is to HIS personal gain! And to think, I was the one who's wife wanted a divorce! Hmm, good post!

Anonymous said...

Sharon, you must understand that words like 'wife' and 'slave' are merely social constructs.

Apologia for the CSA.