Thursday, October 09, 2014

MY Sin of Pride

Last week, I was at the local library and read Christianity Today's article on "33 Under 33: Meet the Christian leaders shaping the next generation of our faith."

I'm 33.

I was not in the article.

I should not have been.

The article had teenagers and folks in their early thirties. Most of them have dedicated their short lives to seeking justice and mercy for the oppressed. Others have created beautiful art reflected our Creator's goodness. Some have served in local churches and impacted thousands with the Gospel through evangelism and discipleship. I thanked God for the men and women listed in the article.

And yet lingering in my soul was unholy ambition. Why am I not famous? Why am I not receiving accolades? The rabbit hole of my depravity runs deep. So so many of my good deeds have not been to my Father in secret but "to be seen!" by others. I've sacrificed so much that is good and holy to have that which is vain and futile. Forgive me Father for seeking the glory that is rightfully yours. Forgive me Father for serving with my fame in mind rather than the good of those under my care. Forgive me Father for not following in the footsteps of Jesus, the one who came not to be served but to serve and give his life as a ransom for many (Mark 10:45).

But thank you Lord that you died for this pride of mine. Thank you Lord that Jesus laid down his life, giving up his heavenly glory, to die for my petty efforts at personal fame.

Make me new. 

Help me to embrace the shadows of obscurity.

Let me be faithful and forgotten.

So that You might be known and remembered.

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