Friday, February 03, 2017

New Canon Committee Formed

Many of our readers are familiar with the various translation committees (NIV, ESV, NLT) that meet regularly to bring the sacred Scripture's original languages into comprehensible English. Proctor's Postings has just been made aware of a New Canon Committee being formed by the likes of Joel Osteen, Kenneth Copeland, and Benny Hinn.

Osteen remarks, "After reading and rereading the Bible in my possession, I've become convinced that certain ideas have seeped in from medieval Roman Catholicism and are not meant for true Christianity."

Entire books under dispute include the Book of Job, Ecclesiastes, and Lamentations. "There is just too much doubt, suffering, and despair in these books," comments Hinn.

"But it doesn't stop there," explains Copeland, "We believe the imprecatory Psalms, laments, scenes of Jesus' suffering in the Gospel, all mentions of martyrdom, and all details of judgement, should be looked over with a scrupulous eye. People might begin to think it's the common lot of God's people to suffer."

The New Canon Committee feels they are in a much better position than the 1st century Apostles and early Church Fathers to discern the nature of God's revelation. All admit to hearing from God quite regularly, and certainly these new voices trump the voices of the past. In fact, there is strong consideration for adding Osteen's "Your Best Life Now" and Copeland's "How You Call It Is How It Will Be" under Wisdom literature. 

The New Bible will be done in honor of the life and legacy of Pat Robertson who will serve as chief editor.

#satire

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